a letter that you’ll never read

You felt like both the sunrise and the sunset. Was I foolish to fall for someone I hardly knew, even though it felt like I’d known you my whole life? You know more about me than I’ve ever cared to share, and yet it was never enough. Two years is a long time to keep running around the same circle, so I guess you finally found the exit.

I think it hurts me most how easy it was for you to say goodbye without a sound. And I’m supposed to just move on and let go, but nobody knows all the days we spent talking about all the days we would have together when the timing was right, even though it never was. I gave every chance I could to see this through. I gave you every bit of time I had to be someone other than who you always were.

I think we were exactly what we needed to be for each other at exactly the right time, and that is the hardest part of this whole thing. A fantasy that reached its end.

I wish I could hate you, but I don’t.

I wish I could forget you but I won’t.

All I can do is hope that wherever you are, you’re happy.  All I can do is wish for you the life we’ll never have. All I can do is thank you for showing me the kind of love that I deserve. All I can do is hope it will be a love found. You were one of my great loves, and I don’t know why. But that is what you were and will always be. A love that was never meant to last, both freeing and fleeting at the same time.

In this letter you’ll never read is a relic of my love. Another life. Another time. You were nothing and then everything.

And then nothing more. In this letter you’ll never read is our very last goodbye.

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